need another drink. this is the easiest way
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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