Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
