I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
