please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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