i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
