i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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