Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
