it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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