You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
