halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
