It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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