Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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