If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
