is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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