my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
