finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
