There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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