Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
