I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
