He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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