do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
