They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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