she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
