i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
