How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when itβs pouring snow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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