yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
