At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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