Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
