There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
