he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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