everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
