I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
