whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize