oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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