Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
