Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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