So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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