I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wow bdsm is so cute
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
