so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
