i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
