I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
