what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
