I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize