well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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