the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
