So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
