Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
