my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
