i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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