guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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