i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
