Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found puke in my bra..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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