Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
