He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize