apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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