you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
