it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
