I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I had to cum in my sink.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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