Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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