the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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