A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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