You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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