He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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