I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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