I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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