She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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