ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
