Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
love makes seman taste better
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
