i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
