I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
