i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
BRING THE BAGELS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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