with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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