grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
NoShamevember. You game?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
