She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
either way he was missing a nipple.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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