Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
