i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
